What I See
by luthrengreenleaf
Summary: These poems are all that I have written. I hope you enjoy them and leave reviews.
1. Default Chapter

Hello everyone. The Poems that follow are almost all ones that I have written. If I didn't write a poem then I will not take credit for it, and make sure people know that I didn't write it. This poem, B.F.F.A.A., was written by me (I'm going to go A.L. insead of my name.) and is dicated to my friend, Dana. I hope you enjoy all my poems and leave me reviews. Thanks so much.

**B.F.F.A.A.**

Once I was alone.

There was no one by my side,

No one I could go to and cry.

I had never felt so alone.

So uncared for and unwanted.

Then I met you.

All of a sudden my life changed forever.

I shed my old life of acting like someone else,

And tried on a new life that fit me well.

It allowed me to be me,

And didn't make me feel like I had to be someone else.

You taught me how to look forward to things,

Like talking on the phone everyday,

And that make up is okay

You also taught me this,

I didn't always have to agree with you.

I could be different,

And we could like different things.

I had never been so happy.

My new life had begun.

Now I've know you for a year,

And we're still having that much fun.

We'll be friends forever,

You and me.

I promise I'll keep our friendship safe,

And close to my heart.

Thanks for being my friend,

Making me feel loved and needed,

It was done all by you.

Now let's let our second year of friendship begin.

B.F.F.A.A.

-A.L.


	2. Blind Eye

**_Blind Eye_**

_You tried to hurt me. _

_Make me feel bad _

_for this fight you created. _

_You said, _

_made up, _

_assumed, _

_and wrote horrible things _

_about me. _

_But it didn't touch me. _

_I refuse to feel bad for your wrong. _

_I didn't break, _

_but you did. _

_You want me back._

_As a friend, _

_and companion. _

_But I won't, _

_I can't go back. _

_You did this yourself, _

_you asked for it. _

_I warned you, _

_I gave you a change to redeem yourself. _

_You've taken it too late though. _

_Stop calling, _

_stop talking, _

_stop following. _

_Things will never be the same. _

_I've seen you, _

_and now I won't turn a blind eye _

_to the wrongs you've done to me and others. _

_No matter what you do now, _

_I know whom you are inside. _

_You can't change that, _

_you made it. _

_And if your really sorry, _

_show it, _

_don't say it. _

_-A.L._

_Because right now I could care less about what you have to say._


	3. I Trusted You

_**I Trusted You**_

_I trusted you. _

_I let you guide me _

_along a dangerous road, _

_while I turned a blind eye. _

_I saw the wrongs you did, _

_but I let them pass. _

_I saw the people you hurt, _

_and I didn't say a word. _

_Then you did it to me, _

_and now I see that I was wrong all along. _

_I don't know why _

_I put my self in this abusive friendship we have. _

_Now I have a chance to break away,_

_and to start over. _

_I've taken that chance, _

_and nothing will change my mind. _

_I am ashamed _

_to think of what it took for me to see this, _

_and how long ago I should have taken this chance. _

_But I'll live with that, _

_and learn from it._

_-A.L._


	4. 11 Years Old

Author's Note: These are things that I found a little while ago. I wrote them when I was 11 years old. I didn't read them over, or revise them. I wanted to post them just the way they were. I hope you like them.

Tears are not few for me and none of them mean I'm happy. I sit here now with tears running down my face. I can't stop them they are too much a part of me. They are unstoppable so I cry and cry. You watch me cry and do nothing for me. I no longer want to see your face I want to you leave and never come back to me. You are nothing to me now. Once I thought you were but you proved me wrong. So never come back. You still have a part of me and I can't take it back if I wanted to. No I won't even try because you have also left me with a part of you. A part that has also become me and no matter how hard I try to get away you will never truly leave me. No matter how much I want you gone and how hard I try to throw you away...you will always be here with me so I'll live my life, my new life, with you in my past but not my future and I'll... I'll be happy.

I like to leave here and be friends with people who only have names. No faces no life. They are my escape from life. I enjoy being with them they are a big part of my life. They can't be taken away and can't be seen by anyone else. My feelings mach theirs and I become a part of them or a friend that stands silently and faithfully by them yet unseen and Unheard by others who escape like me. We all have our ways to escape but mine is written Down on paper and is read. When I am done with one I get another and another one after that no one can stop me it is a part of me and always will be.

Some days I just want to leave here, I want to be gone. When I can leave, I will. Nothing can change my mind. Nothing. I know when I leave I will leave friends and family, and memories. But they can't keep me, I have to leave, I want to leave. And no matter how much it hurts I will leave, because I can't stay here. My roots could never get a firm grip. They need new soil, soil that is not littered in or been used before. So when I can I am going to leave, and when I do I'll start a new life for myself without all the hurt I found in the soil here. So don't try to make me stay in this place, is just not for me, so goodbye, I'll see you again someday...when I have found my soil. I promise.

Sometimes I wonder if you can be put with the wrong family. Like if you just don't fit with them. I'm so different. I like it but it just doesn't go with my family. Then I wonder if family has to be the people you grew up with and live with. Why can't it be my friends or pets? Or maybe my family is just I. I don't know but one day I'll learn then maybe I won't feel so out of place. Maybe one day.


	5. Lost

Sometimes I feel so lost, and materlistic. Unworthy, unwanted, and only seen as just another girl. Skinny, tall, and pretty. I feel like I have to change to fit everyone else's needs. When I try please one person I disappoint another. I'm either not trying hard enough or showing off. It sounds so stupid, but true. I'm not just another teen girl, I'm me. But why does everyone make it seem so bad to be who you are? Is it because they know if they allow me to be who I am then people will see they aren't who they say they are? I shouldn't have to suffer for their choices, I should be who ever I want to be.

It's true you know; when they say you can only expect the unexpected. One day I'm doing perfectally. I'm the mature one, seeing how my parent's rules have save who I could have become. Then the next I'm failing classes, my parents are taking money out of my savings account to pay for a screwup I made, I'm fighting every word they say, being told to be accountable and take responsibleiy for my actions, and being called too many names to count. It's so hard swinging back and forth between being the adult that's growing inside of me and fighting to get out, and the child inside of me I feel I'm losing by the day. I never know how the day is going to end: with me an immature, uneducated, rebellious child again, or being the mature, understanding, responsible adult everyone is starting to expect from me more and more by the day.


	6. Look At Me

**Look At Me**

Don't look away from me

You were the one who decided

Our friendship would end this way

If anyone should look away it's me

Out of fear of being hurt again,

But I can't, I won't.

I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Look at me

We were Best Friends

Look at me

I'm the one you passed notes with in class

Look at me

I'm the one you always got in trouble with after school

Look at me

I'm the one you spent every recess with

Look at me

I'm the one you pushed away

Look at me

I'm the one you hurt

Look at me

I've changed since then

Look at me

Now I always hold my head up high

Look at me

I've made better friends

Who treat me, and others the right way

Look at me

I'm a better person now

Look at me

I stand up for myself, and others

Look at me

I've never treated you the way you treated me

Look at me

And I will look straight back at you

Look at me

And you'll marvel at how your choice changed my future

And saved who I would have become

If we had stayed Best Friends.

At the time I was overwhelmed with anger, and hurt

But now I can do nothing but smile when those memories come back to me

Thank you forpickingme

-Luthrengreenleaf


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